


Back To Beginnings

by paperstorm, slf630



Category: Actor RPF, Real Person Fiction, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-26
Updated: 2013-03-26
Packaged: 2020-03-26 07:47:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19001455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperstorm/pseuds/paperstorm, https://archiveofourown.org/users/slf630/pseuds/slf630
Summary: Most of the time, Jared is pretty good at keeping his relationship with Jensen at home and not letting it affect them when they're working. And then, there are days like today.





	Back To Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> (I'm importing old works from LJ just so my AO3 collection is complete, this is not a new story)

Most of the time, Jared is pretty good at keeping his relationship with Jensen at home and not letting it affect them when they’re working. They’ve blown each other in one of their trailers on breaks a handful of times, and kissed behind the sound stage once or twice, and sometimes Jensen reaches over and squeezes Jared’s leg pretend-platonically but lets his fingers linger for just a second longer than he would if he were touching Jim or Misha. Most of the time, though, when they’re at work they’re just best friends and co-stars and the fact that they’re more is just one of those things that everybody probably at least partly suspects but no one says out loud. And Jared likes it that way. He wouldn’t want what he has with Jensen to get in the way of what they create together on screen. They play brothers, that would make it too weird. Not that everybody doesn’t also already think Sam and Dean are fucking, but even still. Jared likes that they can be professional about it. For the most part, anyway.  
  
But then, there are days like today. Days where – for whatever reason, maybe it was something Jared ate or a dream he doesn’t remember having or maybe it’s just been too many nights falling into bed too exhausted to do anything but wrap himself around Jensen and pass out – Jared is … well, horny is kind of a gross word, but it’s the only one that describes it. It’s  _Jensen_ , though. Jared doesn’t just want to get off, he has his own right hand if that’s all he was looking for. He wants  _Jensen_ , and he wants him really,  _really_  bad. It isn’t even a matter of Jensen looking extra hot today or something, because Jensen always looks hot. Regardless of what he’s doing or wearing or if there’s fake blood smeared all over him or if it’s been weeks since he’s shaved and Jared doesn’t particularly care for him with a beard because it’s weird that the hair on his face is red when the hair on his head is that cross between blonde and brown. It doesn’t matter, done up in a tux or slumming in an old t-shirt stained with pizza grease, Jensen is always the most gorgeous thing Jared’s ever set eyes on. So it isn’t that. Jared doesn’t know  _what_  it is, exactly, but everything Jensen’s done and said has been slowly winding Jared up all day long until he’s not sure how much longer he’ll be able to hold out before he just grabs his smokin’ hot boyfriend and starts rubbing off against him right here on the set, and fuck whoever’s watching.  
  
It’s been a full day of scenes with just the two of them, too. They’re shooting an episode that Sam and Dean are hardly in, so Jared and Jensen have been off doing random scenes for other episodes. And that isn’t helping. When there are other people there to act with, guest stars or even just extras in the background, it feels like more of a public setting and Jared’s always very aware of just how many eyes are on them and that he can’t act around Jensen the way he would if they were at home. But when it’s just him and Jensen, just Sam and Dean alone in the car or in the motel-du-jour, somehow it’s easier to forget that there’s a whole host of people just off camera. There’s electricity between them when they play a scene alone, and Jared gets caught up in it sometimes. He’s been staring at Jensen’s mouth since the first “action!”, almost five hours ago. It’s ridiculous, how nice it is. They’re on a break now, sitting together at a picnic table, and even still Jared can’t stop looking at those damn lips. Plump and pink and they look so fucking sexy wrapped around Jared’s hard cock, and  _god_  would he ever kill to have Jensen on his knees right now and … shit, how long has Jensen been calling his name?  
  
“Sorry, what?” Jared blinks and Jensen’s face comes back into focus, his eyebrows quirked and a smirky smile on his face.  
  
“You doin’ okay there, cowboy?” Jensen asks, quietly enough that only Jared can hear him.  
  
“I … yeah, m’fine,” Jared mumbles, rubbing his eyes and giving himself a shake.  
  
“What’s wrong with you today? You gettin’ sick or somethin’?”  
  
“No, not … I’m okay.”  
  
Jensen’s smile fades into a frown, and his voice is full of concern when he says, “Talk to me.”  
  
“It isn’t – it’s nothing like that,” Jared says quickly, shaking his head.  
  
“What, then?”  
  
“I just …” Jared groans and drops his head down onto the table. “You’re gonna laugh.”  
  
“Possibly. Tell me anyway.”  
  
“I’m a little … um.” Jared squirms. “Keyed up.”  
  
Jensen does laugh, bright and loud and it makes Jared smile in spite of himself. “That … is unfortunate. Given that it’s gonna be a really long time before we can go home and do anything about it.”  
  
“Not helpful,” Jared grumbles. “Neither are  _you_ , by the way, being all stupidly sexy all damn day.”  
  
“I wasn’t doing anything!” Jensen protests with another sparkling laugh.  
  
“Yeah, I know. And that’s worse. You’re sexy even when you’re not trying to be and I’m trying  _not_  to think about how much I wanna jump you and you’re not making it easy.”  
  
Jensen merely chuckles again, his eyes crinkling at the corners and that’s  _so_  not helping. Jensen is just even more gorgeous when he smiles. “Sorry?” he half-asks, although he certainly doesn’t freaking  _sound_  sorry. Not even a little bit.  
  
Jared narrows his eyes, aggravated and turned-on and frustrated and just about to say something – anything – to try and take that smirk away from Jensen’s stupid too-pretty face but before he can, one of the PA’s – damned if he can remember her name right now – stops by, smiling apologetically.  
  
“Sorry, guys,” she mutters softly, with that same look that practically everyone wears all over their face when they think they’re interrupting what Jared’s actually overheard people calling a  _Jared-and-Jensen-moment_. “Don’t mean to interrupt your break but they’re doing some resets for the next scene, something about the lighting being off. So you’re free for a bit longer.”  
  
Jensen thanks her, all southern charm and easy smiles like he always is with people he doesn’t know that well, but Jared isn’t really paying attention anymore. He’s once again focused on the plump curve of Jensen’s bottom lip. The way it sticks out slightly over the pale skin underneath, the way it glistens in the sunshine with the saliva that hasn’t dried yet. Jensen is constantly,  _constantly_ , licking his lips. It’s a compulsion, when he’s nervous or when he’s concentrating extra hard, but all it ends up doing this time is making  _Jared_  extra hard. He groans under his breath, unable to force his eyes away. It’s just freaking unfair is what it is. Nobody should get to be that pretty without having some kind of horrible character flaw to balance it out.  
  
When it comes down to it, Jared will swear up and down with his hand on a Bible that this is All. Jensen’s. Goddamn. Fault.  
  
He waits until what’s-her-name leaves, then waits a few more minutes just to make sure that they aren’t going to be interrupted again before shoving to his feet – cringing when his cock presses uncomfortably against the inside of his boxer briefs – and grabs Jensen’s wrist. He tugs, not even close to gently, giving Jensen no choice but to follow him as he marches away from the set.  
  
“What’re you doing?” Jensen mutters, eyes wide and glancing around nervously to see if anyone’s watching them.  
  
Jared doesn’t answer, can’t really answer, just focuses on heading for the line of trees a few yards away. Once they’ve reached the shade of thick Vancouver Cypress trees – and relative privacy offered by the thick trunks - Jensen finally digs his heels in, wrenching his wrist out of Jared’s grasp.  
  
“What the hell, Jare?” Jensen demands softly; wide, emerald green eyes blinking owlishly. He’s not mad – Jared can tell – he’s just confused and probably concerned by Jared’s atypical behavior. Not that Jared can really blame him, he’s pretty freaking confused by his own damn actions. He feels like he’s barely in control of himself at all right now. Dean would call it ‘thinking with his downstairs brain’, and Jared’s never understood that expression more than he does right now.  
  
Jared licks his lips. The fact that they’re on set and that there are crew members not all  _that_ far away is absolutely the last thing on his mind. All he can think, all that matters, is the fact that he needs Jensen like fucking breathing right now. It feels like it’s been for-fucking-ever since they touched, since he’s been able to hide in Jensen’s arms, since they’ve been able to just lose themselves in long, thorough kisses that leave them both weak and lightheaded because it feels like Jensen’s permanently attaching himself to Jared’s freakin’  _soul_  when they kiss like that.  
  
“Jen,” he breathes helplessly, reaching out one slightly shaky hand.  
  
Jensen knows him well enough to know when there’s something wrong, knows him better than anyone else ever has, and Jared sees Jensen’s gaze soften as he takes a step closer, reaching out to curl one arm around Jared’s waist. He brings one hand up, gripping the back of Jared’s neck, tugging gently until Jared’s forehead is pressed against his own.  
  
“Hey,” Jensen mutters softly.  
  
“Yeah,” Jared answers, even though Jensen didn’t ask him anything.  
  
“Is something else goin’ on? You’re never like this.”  
  
“Just …” Jared sighs. “It’s this damn season, man. Think it’s startin’ to get to me.”  
  
“What about it?”  
  
“Us bein’ so mad at each other all the time. I mean, not  _us_. But even still. I know we’re just acting, I know it isn’t real, but it always feels real at the time, you know? All this tension, Sam and Dean being so distant and so hurt and pissed at each other and everything, sometimes it feels like it’s  _us_  who’re that far apart even though I know it isn’t.”  
  
Jensen nods, his forehead rubbing against Jared’s. He kisses the corner of Jared’s mouth. “I know. I feel it too, sometimes. You just gotta remember that we’re not them. We’re okay, better than okay. I love you.”  
  
“Love you too.” Jared inhales deeply, the familiar scent of his boyfriend filling his senses. Jensen’s soft, reassuring touch help to settle him enough to be able to think. He’s still hard as hell, still wants whatever he can get out of Jensen right now and consequences be damned, but at least it doesn’t feel like he’s spinning out of control so much anymore.  
  
Wrapping one hand in Jensen’s tie, Jared pulls him closer, brushing a barely-there, feather-light kiss against those perfect, wet-dream inducing lips. Like a match hitting a pool of gasoline, white-hot fire burns through Jared and he pushes to deepen the kiss, grunting against Jensen’s lips when his boyfriend doesn’t immediately kiss him back.  
  
Jensen doesn’t hesitate for long and Jared feels the change, feels the moment that Jensen gets with the program. He’s always been much more concerned than Jared is about keeping their secret as secret as they can, but he must be able to sense that Jared needs this right now. The kiss intensifies, quickly turning heated and Jared grunts again when his back collides with the sturdy trunk of one of the trees that they’re hiding behind – he hadn’t even realized that Jensen had shoved him backwards.  
  
Jensen rips his lips away after a few, long, glorious moments, broad chest heaving slightly as he pants, his forehead once again resting against Jared’s. “Drive me fuckin’ crazy,” he mutters, more of a musing than a statement, almost as if he’s talking to himself instead of Jared, before slamming their lips together again, one hand sliding down Jared’s side to grip his hip, his other hand still gripping the back of his neck. Jared can feel Jensen’s fingers twitching against his skin, knows that his boyfriend is fighting the urge to bury that hand in his hair and use the hold to tilt his head where he wants him. Jared wishes he would.  
  
Jensen kisses him again instead, rough and deep and it burns Jared up from the inside, igniting his synapses and making his head spin. Jensen dips his tongue into Jared’s mouth; long, delicious sweeps that have Jared's mind instantly on the amazing things that tongue can do on other parts of his body. But then Jensen presses his hips forward, rolling them slowly so the top of his thigh pushes into Jared’s cock, and all other thoughts disappear from Jared’s brain and narrow down to how fucking  _good_  that feels. He moans, gripping Jensen’s jacket harder, and Jensen does it again.  
  
Jared is probably less than a minute away from coming in his pants like a teenager even though he’s thirty god-damn years old, when the garbled sound of someone speaking rings out, not close enough for Jared to understand the words. It takes his brain a second to figure out what that means, especially with the way Jensen’s still sliding his tongue in and out of Jared’s mouth, but then it hits him at the same moment as it does Jensen.  
  
“Fuck,” Jensen mutters, pulling away abruptly. “Was that the PA system?”  
  
For a second, Jared’s distracted once again by the sight of Jensen’s lips - this time red and puffy from kissing and shiny with spit - but then he blinks, and sighs, “Yeah. I think so.”  
  
“You catch any of it?”  
  
Jared shakes his head. “Could just be paging somebody,” he says, hoping Jensen will be okay with ignoring it and going back to the kissing and the rubbing and the ecstasy Jared’s been craving all day.  
  
“Could be paging  _us_ ,” Jensen points out, and Jared freakin’ hates it but he knows Jensen’s right.  
  
“Kay. Let’s … uh.” He blows out a frustrated breath and pushes his hair back off his face. “Fuckin’ …”  
  
“I know.” Jensen grimaces, pulling completely away from Jared and adjusting his clothes so it doesn’t  _completely_  look like he was just dry-humping Jared into a tree. “Shitty. Later, okay?”  
  
“We’ve been too wiped to do anything but pass out when we get home all week.” Jared doesn’t blame either of them for it, but it’s really sucked.  
  
Jensen grins, and presses one last, soft kiss to Jared’s mouth. “So we’ll take a nap first if we have to.”  
  
Jared smiles back. “Yeah. Okay.”  
  
Jensen squeezes his hand and starts to walk away, back to the street where they’re filming and exactly the last place in the world Jared wants to be right now. He follows, fixing himself up as much as he can although he’s still hard as hell and there really isn’t much he can do to hide it in the thin, fresco fabric of the pants wardrobe dressed him in this morning. Hopefully, no one will notice.  
  
____  
  
It’s much later than Jared thought it would be by the time Clif finally drops them off. The scene, and the other ones they shot, ended up taking a lot longer than anyone thought, which almost always happens when they’re out on location instead of in the comfort of their own set, and sometimes Jared doesn’t get why no one seems to remember that from week to week. He’s exhausted, and Jensen is too judging by the bleariness in his eyes and the slackness of his posture, but Jared doesn’t care. He is getting laid tonight, regardless. He’s not hard up for it like he was earlier, but it’s still been way too long since he and Jensen have been together. And after Jared said it out loud, he realized how right he was about the tension of this season so far getting under his skin. It’s never as much fun to film when Sam and Dean aren’t getting along, and when it’s for a long period like this, it’s excruciating. This is even worse than it was at the beginning of season five, and Jared didn’t think anything would  _ever_  be worse than that. So he and Jensen both need this.  
  
Jensen collapses onto the couch, tipping his head back onto the cushions and closing his eyes. Jared sits down next to him, tucking one foot up under his body and poking Jensen in the shoulder.  
  
“Hey. Rise and shine. You gotta, y’know. Rise. And then shine.” Jared laughs at his own joke, and Jensen smiles and shakes his head.  
  
“That makes no sense.”  
  
“Shut up, I’m hilarious. But seriously, up you get. I was promised sex.”  
  
“D’you mind if I’m asleep for it?”  
  
Jared smirks. “Do I mind having sex with your unconscious body? Is that what you’re asking?”  
  
“Kinda.”  
  
“I’m pretty sure that’s called rape. I’m also pretty sure it’s frowned upon in most societies.”  
  
Jensen chuckles. “Stupid government.”  
  
Jared pokes him again, harder this time. “I mean it, Ackles. I will carry you upstairs if I have to.”  
  
Jensen sighs, pretending to be upset about it, but he opens his eyes and reaches out for Jared. Jared leans down and kisses him, soft and simple at first and then deepening it. Jared kind of collapses against Jensen’s chest, letting himself get lost in the familiar, wet slide of lips and tongues, letting the familiar feeling of Jensen’s firm chest against his own and the sounds he makes deep in his throat push everything else out of his mind. In that moment, it’s just the two of them – the way it’s always supposed to be – and they’re just two guys in love, not their characters or celebrities or what the rest of the world expects them to be. The stress and distance and everything else melts away and Jared feels like he can finally freaking  _breathe_  again.  
  
Jensen’s hand slides over his hip and pushes up under the hem of Jared’s t-shirt. A low moan reverberates between them at even that little bit of flesh on flesh. Jared’s not entirely sure which one of them made the sound but it doesn’t really matter.  
  
Eventually – much too soon, really, in Jared’s opinion – Jensen pulls away slightly, their foreheads pressed together. They’re both breathing a little heavier and Jared’s heart is starting to pound jack-rabbit fast against his ribcage and those feelings from earlier, although not quite as strong, come rushing back. Jensen hums softly in the back of his throat – a small, content sound – and slides his hand around Jared’s waist, his palm pressing against the small of Jared’s back. Jensen’s thumb brushes feather-light over the base of Jared’s spine and a shudder wracks Jared’s whole body.  
  
He’s not really too picky about what they actually do at this point, he just knows that they need to do  _something_  or he kind of thinks his head is going to explode. There’s a thousand options and ideas running through his head, so much he wants to do, so many things that they haven’t done in  _way_  too long. But the thing is, pretty much all of them require them to get up and move to the bedroom. Jared’s more than willing – and ready – he’s just not so sure about Jensen.  
  
Jared leans forward again, pressing another breath-taking, mind-numbing kiss against Jensen’s lips, his hands gripping Jensen’s shoulders almost bruise-tight. “Jen,” he whispers into the kiss. “Bedroom.”  
  
Jensen grunts in the back of his throat and wraps both arms around Jared’s waist and tugs Jared impossibly closer. And while Jared’s perfectly okay with the whole closer thing, it’s not getting them any closer to the bedroom and not getting him any closer to actually getting laid.  
  
“Jensen,” he says again, pulling away enough to finally speak without Jensen’s lips and tongue attached to his own. He presses one hand against Jensen’s chest, momentarily distracted by the firm muscle under his palm, the frantic beat of his boyfriend’s heart, the gentle part of Jensen’s spit-slick, kiss-bruised lips. Jared blinks owlishly, a fresh wave of heated blood shooting down between his legs when Jensen licks his lips then slowly scrapes his teeth over the bottom one.  
  
Even though he was the one that suggested moving this to the bedroom – and their nice big bed – Jared sort of half-tackles Jensen back against the cushions, his hands pushing up the hem of Jensen’s shirt as he kisses Jensen again. Jensen lets out this interesting combination of a growl and a moan and arches up into the slide of Jared’s hands on his chest, one leg wrapping around one of Jared’s legs. He uses the hold to grind his crotch up against Jared’s, rubbing their trapped, cloth-covered cocks together. Jared pulls away with a gasp and thrusts down again, just to get another sweet burst of friction even though it’s muted through too many layers of cotton and denim.  
  
When their gazes lock again, Jared can still see some lingering exhaustion in Jensen’s lust-blown, bottle-green eyes but the heat and want darkening his gaze is unmistakable and undeniable. Reluctantly, Jared pulls himself out of Jensen’s arms and heaves himself up off the couch. Jensen looks up at him, licking his lips again, and what little bit of resolve and restraint Jared was managing to hold on to snaps like a rubber band stretched beyond its limits.  
  
Jensen is fucking gorgeous under normal circumstances. But seeing him like this – spread out on the couch, legs slightly parted, a pink flush staining his freckled cheeks and the short spikes of his hair messed up from Jared’s hands, his broad chest heaving and his eyes dark and dangerous and predatory – still manages to take Jared’s breath away. He doesn’t know what he did to be worthy of this beautiful, generous, loving man but whatever it was, he’s so fucking glad that it happened.  
  
Jared reaches out, wrapping his fingers around Jensen’s wrist. He can feel Jensen’s pulse beneath the pads of his fingers and he gently squeezes, bringing Jensen’s hand to his mouth to brush a kiss to the thin, sensitive skin covering the criss-cross of blue veins just below the surface.  
  
“C’mon, babe,” he urges softly, tugging a bit on Jensen’s arm.  
  
Jensen nods and pushes himself up off the couch, grabbing Jared around the waist before he can head toward their bedroom. It’s on the tip of his tongue to protest – he really, really wants to get to their bed – but anything he was going to say flies out of his head when Jensen pulls him against his chest, one hand instantly curling into the back of his hair. Jensen uses the hold to pull him into a wet, sloppy, possessive kiss.  
  
They continue the deep, passionate slide of lips and tongues as Jensen starts to walk Jared backward down the hall. They blindly make their way to the bedroom, Jared trying to undo the buttons on Jensen’s shirt while Jensen is busy unbuttoning and unzipping Jared’s jeans. They only pull away from each other long enough for Jensen to grab the hem of Jared’s t-shirt and pull it up and over his head.  
  
As soon as Jared gets the last button of Jensen’s shirt undone, he slides his palms back up Jensen’s lightly muscled abs to his chest, then to his broad shoulders. He pushes the material off, already tugging Jensen back toward the bed before the shirt even hits the floor. Jared’s jeans are undone, half falling down his hips and he’s so hard it’s actually starting to get a little painful. Jensen’s hands slip under the waist of Jared’s boxer briefs and he grabs Jared’s ass, palming both cheeks and squeezing. Jared moans softly, his eyes fluttering closed as Jensen pulls their hips flush together. He kind of loses track of things for moment – lost in the feeling of Jensen’s strong hands on his ass and their groins rubbing together – but his eyes snap open when Jensen gently pushes him down on the mattress.  
  
Jensen swoops down on top of him, his hands landing on either side of Jared’s head and he kisses him hard. Jared shuffles his way up so his head is on the pillows, and Jensen walks on his knees with him, swirling his tongue around in Jared’s mouth as he does. He grabs Jared’s hands, pushing them up over Jared’s head and holding them there while he plunders Jared’s lips, and Jared squeezes his fingers tightly around Jensen’s. Then Jensen gets one of his legs in between Jared’s and presses the top of his knee forward into Jared’s crotch, and Jared nearly chokes on his own tongue  _and_  Jensen’s.  
  
“Fuck,” he mutters. “Jen …”  
  
“Yeah,” Jensen answers. “Got you, baby.”  
  
Jared knows he does, but he needs Jensen to hurry the hell up. He won’t ever get tired of kissing Jensen, ever, but he needs some friction on his cock right-the-fuck-now. Jensen can tell, apparently, because he moves off Jared and doesn’t waste any more time tugging Jared’s jeans down and off, his boxers following them quickly. Jensen pushes his own pants to the floor and then he’s back, leaning down and pressing soft, teasing kisses to the insides of Jared’s thighs. Usually, Jared likes it that way. Jensen likes to go slow, squeeze every drop of pleasure out of the evening as he can, and even though Jared would instinctively go quick and passionate and frenzied every time because that’s the kind of person he is, he very quickly learned to love the way Jensen does this - drawn out and unhurried, taking his time to worship every inch of Jared’s body before he lets them give in to the sensations. But this time, Jared just can’t. He needs to feel connected to Jensen again and he needs it now.  
  
“Jensen!” he cries, smacking one of his hands down on the mattress in frustration, and Jensen chuckles.  
  
“Impatient tonight?”  
  
Jared just sort of growls instead of answering, and Jensen laughs again but takes pity on him. He starts with Jared’s balls, nuzzling them with his nose and taking them into his hand and rolling them. Then he licks one long, wet stripe up the underside of Jared’s cock that has Jared shuddering even though it’s barely even contact, and then Jensen finally sucks the head into his mouth and Jared could cry over how good it feels. He pushes up onto his elbows to watch because it was Jensen’s damn lips that got him into trouble in the first place this morning, so he’s sure as hell not about to miss seeing them finally wrapped around Jared’s hard cock. Jensen looks up at him, green eyes turned dark in arousal, just as he flutters his tongue just under the crown and Jared moans, his head falling back and eyes slipping closed. Jensen’s mouth is hot and wet and after years of practice he knows exactly how to work Jared’s cock until Jared can’t even think straight anymore after only a couple of minutes.  
  
Jensen’s got one hand wrapped around the base of Jared’s cock, fist chasing after his insanely talented mouth and Jared has just enough sense left to register when Jensen’s other hand once again gently grasps his balls. Jared chokes on a broken moan and his legs instinctively fall open further, giving Jensen all the room he wants and needs to continue reducing Jared to nothing more than a moaning, writhing pile of mush.  
  
Jared forces his head back up so that he can once again look down the length of his own body, heat crawling through his veins like it always does when he sees Jensen between his thighs like that. Jensen’s eyes are locked with his and he gives Jared a flirty little wink before letting his jaw go slack; almost all of Jared’s aching, blood-thick length sliding into that perfect fucking mouth, his swollen cock-head hitting the back of Jensen’s throat.  
  
Jared shifts his hips a bit, gently thrusting up – driving his cock in a little deeper – and feels Jensen’s throat muscles flutter around the sensitive tip and a fresh burst of pre-come oozes from the slit. Jensen moans like it’s the best fucking thing he’s ever tasted and Jared’s cock twitches in the tight, wet warmth of Jensen’s mouth.  
  
“Oh fuck,” Jared groans, his fingers curling into fists in the already messy sheets. Jensen lets his hand slip down some, his palm still pressing against Jared’s balls as his fingers ghost over the sensitive skin behind his sack. Jared moans again, his legs spreading impossibly more as he collapses completely onto his back. “Shit, yeah,” he breathes, flailing one arm toward the table beside Jensen’s side of the bed, blindly ripping open the drawer and rummaging around until his fingers curl around the bottle of lube.  
  
He shoves the bottle at Jensen, barely registering his boyfriend’s fond chuckle. He’s so far beyond gone at this point that he doesn’t even remotely care. He’s hard and aching and it’s been way too fucking long since he’s had Jensen buried inside him. A shudder runs down Jared’s spine when he hears the snick of the bottle opening even over his labored breathing.  
  
Much to his disappointment – and relief if he’s being honest, he’s way too close at this point – Jensen lets his cock fall from between his lips as he swirls just the pads of two fingers around Jared’s rim. Jared struggles to push himself back up onto his elbows – his arms kind of feel like over-cooked spaghetti at this point – and catches Jensen’s gaze again. To his surprise, there’s an unspoken question; a hesitation; in Jensen’s dark eyes. If he wasn’t so hard it hurts and so close to begging, he’d force Jensen to explain. But as it is, he just reaches out one slightly shaky hand toward Jensen, quietly asking, “C’mere?”  
  
Jensen nods and crawls up Jared’s body, half lying on him, half on the mattress. Jensen’s wrist is twisted awkwardly, still just barely moving his fingers around Jared’s entrance. Jared wraps one hand around the back of Jensen’s neck and pulls him into a soft, chaste kiss.  
  
“C’mon, babe,” he breathes against Jensen’s swollen lips. “Want you.”  
  
Jensen nods again, taking a moment to deepen the kiss before pulling away, intense gaze locked with Jared’s as he presses forward with one finger. Jensen doesn’t stop until he’s buried to the knuckle and Jared lets out a slightly shaky breath. He hadn’t realized until this moment  _exactly_  how long it had been since Jensen fucked him. The burn of the stretch is more pronounced than it’s been in a while but Jared adjusts quickly. He actually enjoys the pain/pleasure of the stretch and the full feeling.  
  
“You okay, baby?” Jensen asks softly. Jared nods and Jensen slowly pulls back then pushes forward again, angling his thick finger perfectly so that on the third thrust he brushes Jared’s prostate. Jared lets out a shuddery moan and arches his back slightly, hand still clamped down on Jensen’s neck.  
  
Despite how desperate Jared is, he lets Jensen take his time at first, slowly, carefully prepping him; one, two then three fingers. Jensen rests his forehead against Jared’s as he opens him up, not kissing him but his lips are close enough to Jared’s that the air is moist between them. It’s so intensely personal, so intimate, that Jared gets lots in it for a while. But eventually, that restlessness and urgency from before comes back with a vengeance and Jared can’t handle the slow and sweet anymore.  
  
“Please,” he mumbles brokenly, tore apart by Jensen’s fingers pressing into that amazing spot and Jensen invading all of his senses.  
  
“Yeah,” Jensen whispers, kissing Jared’s bottom lip before he gently pulls his fingers out of Jared’s body. He reaches for the lube again, slicking himself up, and Jared just lies there and waits with his heart pounding so fast behind his rib cage it’s making him dizzy. He almost feels nervous, but he knows it isn’t that. He just wants this too much.  
  
Jensen repositions himself down between Jared’s legs again and lifts one of them up over his shoulders, but then he leans down again to brush his lips softly against Jared’s before he starts pushing his cock inside. Jared flinches for just a moment when he does, but then his body remembers pretty quickly that it likes this, that it’s been  _aching_  for this all day, and he relaxes enough that Jensen can slide in all the way in one slow, even thrust. Jared’s breathing hard again by the time Jensen’s buried all the way to the hilt, and Jensen is too. He reaches up and wraps his hands around the back of Jensen’s neck, not letting him sit up even though Jensen probably wasn’t planning on it. Jensen doesn’t ask before he starts rolling his hips - doesn’t need to, because Jared’s grinding himself down as best he can, chasing that fireworks feeling when the head of Jensen’s cock bumps into his prostate.  
  
It’s quieter in the room than it normally is when they do this. Jared’s the kind of guy who laughs a lot during sex; not because it’s funny, but because he’s  _happy_. But this time, there’s an edge of something  _more_  to it, and Jared feels it like a heavy weight pressing into his chest and making it difficult for him to breathe properly. Jensen keeps his eyes locked on Jared’s as they move, his eyes fluttering closed momentarily on a moan or two but then opening again, and his dark, intense gaze has Jared falling apart almost more than the whole host of amazing sensations below his waist. Jensen loves him, it’s impossible to miss when they’re together like this, and it’s stupid and girly that  _that’s_  what Jared gets off on more than anything, but it is.  
  
Jared whole body lights up every time Jensen grinds into his prostate, synapses on fire and molten lava running thick through his veins. Eventually, he reaches down and shoves a hand between them, wrapping it around his leaking cock and stroking as best he can in tandem with Jensen’s increasingly uneven thrusts. He watches Jensen come, watches the pleasure pass over his face, his eyes fall closed, his shoulders tense up under the intensity of it, and Jensen is so fucking  _beautiful_  like that, that it sends Jared over the edge with him. He squeezes himself hard and twists his wrist over the head and lets the warm, tickly feeling wash over him, pull him down into that place where it feels like he’s floating on a cloud and the only thing keeping him from spinning out of orbit is Jensen.  
  
For a few minutes, Jensen lies on top of Jared, his face buried in Jared’s neck, and Jared slides his arms around Jensen’s back and basks in the lingering bliss and the warm, safe feeling of having Jensen close to him. This is Jared’s favorite part of sex, the immediately after, when his nerves are still lit up like a soundboard but he’s also halfway asleep. He never wants this part of it to end, and it’s always too soon when Jensen stirs and lifts his hips so his softening cock slips away from Jared’s body and rolls off him. Jensen just looks at him for a moment, and Jared looks back, but when Jared rolls onto his side to face him, Jensen does the same. Jared shuffles in a little closer so he can push one of his legs in between Jensen’s, and smiles as Jensen slowly reaches out and drags the pad of his thumb along Jared’s bottom lip.  
  
“You good?” Jensen asks.  
  
“Perfect,” Jared says with a grin. “You?”  
  
Jensen just nods, and that glimmer of uncertainty is back in his eyes from before. Jared is still a little hazy, body still swimming in leftover pleasure, but he still sees it.  
  
He slides his arms around Jensen, pushing one between his neck and the mattress so he can pull Jensen into a sideways hug, and whispers, “What’s wrong, babe?”  
  
Jensen sighs. “M’sorry, Jare. I really didn’t realize until tonight how long it’s been since we’ve done this. I know I get too wrapped up in Dean sometimes, ‘specially when it’s all heavy stuff like it’s been lately. Guess I’ve been forgetting to pull myself out.”  
  
“I didn’t either,” Jared tells him honestly. “It’s been a rough month on me too.”  
  
“Was I … um. When you said earlier, about how sometimes it’s hard to remember that it’s Sam and Dean who’re pissed at each other and not you and me, is that because of me? Have I been treating you badly or something? Forgettin’ to wash Dean off at the end of the day?”  
  
“What? No,” Jared says firmly, pulling back just a little to see Jensen’s eyes and finding them shiny and worried. “I swear, you haven’t.”  
  
“‘Cause that isn’t something I’d ever mean to do, but it’s kinda something I can see myself doing without knowing it.”  
  
Jared shakes his head and kisses Jensen, at least a little relieved when Jensen kisses him back just as desperately. “You didn’t. I promise I would’ve told you if you were doin’ that.”  
  
Jensen stares into Jared’s eyes for a moment, like he’s searching for a sign that Jared’s telling the truth, but then he relaxes just a little when he apparently finds it. “Okay.”  
  
“I  _love_  you,” Jared says, kissing the corner of Jensen’s mouth and then not pulling away so they’re sharing air again. “Honestly, I didn’t realize how long it’d been either. Guess I’ve been wrapped up too.”  
  
“Love you back,” Jensen whispers. “Let’s not let this happen again, okay?”  
  
“You mean the sex-drought or almost losing it and fucking on set?” Jared asks with a smile, and Jensen chuckles quietly.  
  
“Neither. Both of those things are bad.”  
  
“Yeah.” Jared laughs too, and kisses the tip of Jensen’s nose.  
  
Jensen rolls his eyes affectionately and mutters, “Girl,” as he rolls onto his back and tugs Jared with him.  
  
Jared settles against his chest, his forehead pressed into Jensen’s neck and his arm across Jensen’s stomach. “You love it.”  
  
“I definitely do.”


End file.
